Tumblr: why I’m wary, but why I may Succumb

Hey people, I realised that I mentioned Tumblr rant in my last post, and I kind of thought it would be best to get that out of the way before Thursday. Reason being I get my A-level results and find out whether all will still go to plan or whether my life is ruined forever.

Truth be told, I think I’m annoyed by Tumblr not for what it does, but for how those features are used. Pages and pages of images “reposted” from here there and everywhere like their owner cannot touch a mouse and resist clicking endlessly. My posts may be few and far between at times using WordPress but I do feel a sense of satisfaction that though my blog might not generate a great deal of traffic, it takes a bit of thought, and a bit of time. Browsing the Tumblr blogs of friends I find very little that is really *theirs*. I know this isn’t true of everyone but it is a little saddening.

I think my favourite Tumblr to date is still STFU couples as I really do love seeing grown adults behaving even more abysmally with their “twue wuvs” than I did at 15. Thankfully I’ve *almost* completely grown out of it now. The thing is, it’s not really a personal blog, it relies heavily on people sending in their own submissions. In fact, all the Tumblrs I actually *enjoy* are like that. As a personal platform it seems to encourage the “post-and-reblog-stuff-people-like-for-more-followers” behaviour, which is fine in small doses but it seems to be way too heavy on that. Even people who I know aren’t particularly inclined to care at all how many followers they have, hits they generate etc keep pushing for the first 100, first 1000… And so on and so on. Also having just read the Zach Inglis post on all the trouble he had with Tumblr I am more put off than ever.

Despite it all, however, I feel I should at least try it as a blogger as opposed to just a reader to see for myself. I was thinking of maybe maintaining the WordPress as a personal blog and using Tumblr as a sort of commentary on things I consider of importance.

Though something tells me there are already a million-and-one opinionated young women on such a platform.

Until next time,
Zoë

Update 17/08/11: I created a Tumblr last night, have gone to post on it today and have already received the “sorry, over capacity” error message. We’re off to a flying start already.

The 30 day letter challenge: To hell with it

Hey all,

It’s been a long time since I posted, sorry about that. I’ve been kept very busy with college, exams, and recently, looking for work and spending time with the boyfriend. All very important I’m sure you’ll agree. It’s become apparent that I will never finish the letter challenge and also that I don’t really want to, it strikes me as a bit of a Tumblr thing and if I wanted a Tumblr I’d have one.

I’ll leave the Tumblr rant for another day but for now, an update. Can’t remember the last time I wrote one of these so it’s going to be pretty comprehensive. I’m 18 now, if you didn’t know. College is over, I worked like a dog in exams and I hope it paid off (it better have, I was killing myself over them) and I’m still sorting out university accommodation because I totally lack organisation. Looks like I’ll be living in a box in the courtyard at UCL – result! Still with George and things are going smoothly there, I may have got a little drunk and soppy at the Prom… I’ve lost a bit of weight – seems strange to mention but one of you enquired about it on my formspring the other day – so I thought I’d share.

My hobbies have extended to watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic over and over again, and Rastamouse with the kid I babbysit. I’m knitting again, and this summer trying to read the Bible. Unfortunately there are many distractions including the jobhunt, Warcraft and my DS. Again, some shameless self promotion: My main character is Nomnomkitty, a blood elf warlock, secondary is Cerberluna, Worgen druid and I have another I’m dicking about with called Moomoobashy, a Tauren druid. Realm is Nagrand. Feel free to talk. Though I appreciate that it was the most pointless bit of self-promotion ever being as if you play, or even care, about WoW you’ll be playing right now, not reading a blog by a London girl who will probably bore you to tears. And finally I’m expecting a new cousin any day now, and come December I’ll be an auntie. It’s all very exciting.

Thanks for being so patient with me yet again, hopefully update soon, maybe with the Tumblr rant. Have a nice day. x

Day Twenty-three: The Last Person I Kissed

Dear George,

I could write all the things I love about you, I could tell you yet again how you make me feel and how great I think you are and how grateful I am to have you, but there are some problems with that: First off, it’s not something I can put down in words; secondly, this is the internet, and no-one else cares; and lastly, if I’m doing my job right you already know all of these things, I know I tell you enough!

Unfortunately, I don’t know what else I’m meant to do with this post… Hmm…

I guess all that’s left to do here is thank you for making these past couple of months so lovely. I can’t help but smile when I’m with you, everything is just so simple and nice and I stop stressing about college or my weight or never having any money, I just enjoy your company. And that’s more than enough. I don’t care what we’re doing, I just like goofing off with you. And I can’t believe I worried so much about being out with you and your cousins after your birthday – they’re so welcoming. I feel like a bit of an idiot about that in retrospect, to think I was all quiet and subdued!

But I digress, the main thing I wanted to say is… I loved that last kiss we shared, and I know I’ll love those that follow. Because whatever we do, you make me happy.

Lots of Love,
Zoë
xxx

Day Twenty-two: Someone I want to give a Second Chance to.

You stupid boy,

Just be my friend, ok? That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you and you know it. I’ve never considered you attractive and besides, I’ve been involved with too many of your friends. Stop being a fucking idiot though, you’re so full of shit sometimes and I genuinely feel uncomfortable with some of the things you say and do. Much as I want to punch you in the face at times, I do appreciate that maybe we just rub each other up the wrong way and there’s a slim chance you’re an actual human being.

Lots of love, and don’t read into that,
Zoë
xxx

Day Twenty-One: Someone I Judged by Their First Impression

Dear world,

I’m going to hold my hands up and freely admit that if I’ve met you, I did judge you by your first impression. We all do it, it’s just a fact of human nature. What I won’t do is judge you from what I’ve heard about you or any contact we may have had prior to us being in the same room.

I make no apologies for this, because something I am always sure to do is allow a little settling-in time. I am prepared to get to know you, and see if your first impression really reflects you. I don’t like people, so I make extra effort with those who I think there might be more to, in the hope you’ll show me that not everyone is the same.

And fact is, I love some of you so dearly despite not always having the best start. There’s good and bad in everybody. Be upfront about both, and we’ll get along just fine, because when we clash, it will be real. I just want to feel real.

Lots of love,
Zoë
xxx

Day Twenty: The One who Broke my Heart the Hardest

I hate to break it to you darling, but you don’t exist. The one I’ve cared for most in my life was never mine to start with, so I never gave him anything nearly so important as my heart. He knows who he is, I’m sure of it.

I know at least one of you is reading this thinking you broke me, but get over yourself. You had a fraction of my flighty heart for a small snatch of time. Much as I may have loved you, you never had it all. Which is good because you never deserved it.

Lots of love Blow me bitch,
Zoë
xxx

Day Nineteen: The Person who Pesters my Mind

Dear Dix,

I miss talking to you, it’s as simple as that. I hate how awkward we were, and like yourself, I thought this would help. It has and it hasn’t.

Sometimes it’s great. I have more time for things that need doing, for instance. Actually, that might be the sole advantage. Because it’s generally damn annoying.

I’m a very fickle person, I’m flighty and I change my mind about everything. I find it impossible to just stick to an idea or decision. So the fact you pester my mind is a clear indication that there’s something about you which I find appealing, not just something about having the company/attention whatever. The problem arises when I want to talk to you, and then remember I left the ball in your court, and I can’t.

I guess I hate having you on my mind from time to time because I can’t do anything about it. It’s the fact that I’m powerless, combined with my impatience, which drives me absolutely nuts. I want you out of my head because I can’t deal with you being on my mind and not being able to do anything about it. But I want you to stay in my thoughts because you’re great fun and decent. This may be hard but it takes fortitude, most men in your shoes would be inclined to use it to their advantage. I don’t meet many decent people.

Sometimes I wish you were an asshole. But mostly I just wait patiently until we’re cool again. And hope it’s sooner rather than later. Problem is having you on my mind makes the absence longer. Not having you on my mind leads to apathy. I just can’t fucking win here.

Lots of love,
Zoë
xxx

Day Eighteen: The person that I wish I could be

Dear Better Zoë,

Thank you for following your ambition even though people might rubbish it. Thank you for doing something you enjoy and persevering, even though it’s hard. Thank you for working to live, not living to work. Thank you for caring for those who matter, and not getting hurt by those who don’t. Thank you for taking your heart off your sleeve and placing it firmly back in your ribcage, where it belongs. Thank you for learning a distinction between sex and love. Thank you for learning to trust people, and learning to open up to those who trust. Thank you for being brave enough to give your heart to the one who deserved it despite the fear of it being broken. Thank you for being a hedonist. Thank you for playing at least as hard as you work. Thank you for being honest. Thank you sugarcoating the truth when you need to. Thank you for staying true to yourself. Thank you for fighting for the people and the things you believe in. Thank you for always going for the things you want. Thank you for being successful in the majority of these efforts. Thank you for getting back into your sports and your music and your art. Thank you for being prepared to try anything once. Thank you for keeping away from the drugs. Thank you for understanding yourself before you get too close to anyone else. Thank you for keeping your weight down. Thank you for jumping in at the deep end. Thank you for making the most of every day. Thank you for telling anyone who tries to control you for their own selfish reasons to go and fuck themselves. Thank you for not dyeing your hair so much. Thank you for embracing your feminine side. Thank you for smoking, and, thank you, for quitting on your terms, not for anyone else. Thank you for not putting all your eggs in one basket. Thank you for having hope.

Lots of love,
Zoë
xxx

Day Seventeen: Someone from my childhood

Dear Danny,

Makes sense to write to you as of those I’ve known longest you’re the one I talk to most. And also am drunk with most often. And also the one who judges me most (I totally deserve that, I’m horrendous).

We were always the smart kids, not much has changed there, but we know how to have fun too which is a good balance. And I think it’s fair to say both of us really go to town on that. The “mystery sick” at my party and my behaviour at the Pit testify to the fact. But don’t ask me to come out on a Sunday night. I’d have probably blown all my money the night before.

Your wit amuses, astounds and often horrifies me, especially when at my expense. But that’s all ok, it’s good fun. And don’t ever change, as I find you rather hilarious. In a laugh-with kind of way, I assure you. You got guts, esepcially considering I could probably break you if I hugged you too tight.

Lots of Love,
Zoë
xxx

Day Sixteen: Someone that’s not in my country

Dear Ragan,

Hello there! It’s been rather a while since we last spoke properly, I’m assuming you must be nearing the midway through College now? I’m not sure how many years you attend for in the US, over here three is standard so at 20, you’d be roughly halfway. I think.

Anyway if I remember right we first got talking through your Black Band Campaign, a cause which remains dear to me at present, having had on-off struggles with the… issue the campaign strives to prevent since my early teenage years. The most recent bout was nipped in the bud by that one black band around my wrist, and all it stands for. It’s a simple, discreet reminder we’re not alone in this world and we are protected, we are cared for. I like that despite your beliefs, it doesn’t strike me as a religious movement, more of a humanitarian one. That’s important.

We used to chat briefly more often, I’d like that. You come across as driven, passionate and down-to-earth, and as a result very approachable. It’s refreshing.

Speak soon perhaps

Lots of love
Zoë
xxx